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Messages - x Bad At Life x

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 7
1
GamingRendo Hockey League / Re: How About We Change Things Up A Bit
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:25:36 PM »
That sounds like more work for Emraith, I vote yes.


Still have 2 conferences/divisions, makes no difference on the stat site, dick.

Unless we only get enough for 4 or 5 teams, in which case you don't need divisions.
It'd have to be 4 or 6..cant have uneven # of teams...

I mean, you could (in theory) do 5 by giving one team off per time slot. 6 is obviously ideal, though.

2
GamingRendo Hockey League / Re: How About We Change Things Up A Bit
« on: September 15, 2014, 04:48:24 PM »
That sounds like more work for Emraith, I vote yes.


Still have 2 conferences/divisions, makes no difference on the stat site, dick.

Unless we only get enough for 4 or 5 teams, in which case you don't need divisions.

3
GamingRendo Hockey League / How About We Change Things Up A Bit
« on: September 13, 2014, 09:53:37 PM »
Seeing as we're preparing to play on NHL 14 for this next season, I was thinking that we alter things just a bit but NOT using NHL teams this season. Instead, we could use AHL, CHL, European League or even, International teams. Thoughts (seeing as I can't post a poll for some reason)?

4
GamingRendo Hockey League / Re: Season 8 Official Signup Thread - NHL14
« on: September 13, 2014, 09:02:15 PM »
GamerTag : x Bad At Life x
Prior GT(s) in GRHL: N/A
Primary Position : (Position you wish to be drafted at and play majority of games) Forward (I'm best on either wing. I can play center in a pinch, put I wouldn't recommend putting me in the middle very often)
Alternate Positions : (Secondary position you are WILLING/ABLE to play) Defense (Please note: I will ONLY play defense in a pinch such as, the team is about to forfeit.)
Availability : (General Availability, Sun-Friday 10/11PM): Will vary from week to week. I'll let management know when I can and cannot play as soon as I know.
GRHL Experience: (How many seasons) 3 seasons, I think. Maybe 4?
Other Leagues (Prior): (EHL,VHL, LG, etc) SSHL, EHL, VHL, LG
Other Leagues (Currently playing in): (EHL,VHL, LG, etc) N/A
You've read and agree to the GRHL Rules and Regulations: Yes/No.  (Stating no means you won't be eligible to play) Yes

Just a heads up to everyone, this sign up is dependent on earlier game times. I will bow out if game times remain as is.

5
League Media / Re: 50 Shades of o0 Black 0o. Week 5
« on: June 20, 2014, 04:35:29 PM »
Great work, sir. Some of you know this, but I got ownership in the other league so things have been crazy this week. A couple of things here:

1. Copy didn't choose celibacy by choice; he doesn't get any from his wife.
2. Pooch doesn't need to actually select forward as his position, he plays fourth forward anyway. Just call him Scumbag Mafia Jr.
3. Shep has been carrying me all year; it is about time someone else gave him recognition. He would have gotten it earlier if Jewbawkaa could enter stats properly.

6
GamingRendo Hockey League / Re: NHL 15 ?
« on: June 12, 2014, 10:52:02 PM »
I'm not getting a One or PS4 so I'd obviously prefer option 2 or 3. With that being said, you have to make a move that is best for the future of the league here.

7
League Media / Re: Week 4 in Review: A Btosh Joint
« on: June 09, 2014, 10:27:15 PM »
i went 3/0

My mistake, sir. Looks like the stats weren't up to date when I did my research (Friday).

8
League Media / Week 4 in Review: A Btosh Joint
« on: June 09, 2014, 10:02:13 PM »
What you are about to read is solely MY opinion. This write up is meant to be both serious and comedic, so if you get offended by any of this, you need to re-evaluate your life. Also, you can contact Rendo for his "super special" ass numbing cream. The jokes in this article are as bad as X Factor playing positional defense.

Welcome to another week in scrubbery! Yet again I am going to recap all of the ďbeautyĒ that came out of the GRHL. Iíd like to first thank SoccerJRC for officially giving up on writing articles; clearly he couldnít deal with a quality product competing with his Slapshot. o0 Black 0o now dominates the defense and French speaking markets, so you are all left with me. YAY!!!! Anyway, I called out a couple of teams last week and it looks like they finally woke the fuck up and played to their capabilities. Letís start with a Western Conference team who Iíve been waiting to see breakout for quite some time, the Anaheim Ducks.

1. Anaheim Ducks (16-10-2, 5-1-1 in Week 4) 2nd in Western Conference, T-3rd in Overall Points

After weeks of being just ok, the Ducks finally took the dicks out of their hands and started playing the hockey that many felt they were capable of. With Dallas seeming to have fallen off of a cliff, the Ducks picked a very good time to step their game up. Special teams for the Ducks rose slightly, with the powerplay going from 35.59% to 37.97% while the penalty kill went from 63.08% to 64.47%.

Shot Differential: As strange as this sounds, the Ducks actually had success while not outshooting their opponents on the week, as they posted a -2 differential. The real big hits came against the Avalanche (-11) and Rangers (-6). Conversely, the Ducks handled business against the Bruins (+6) and Stars (+7)

Players of the Week: Offensively, HuRRt continues to be a force for the Ducks as he led all forwards with 7 Goals and 7 Assists. From the back end, Frazier4Heisman added 5 assists while *gasp* icceman9 had a strong week in net by posting a 2-0 record with an 84SV% and 2.00 GAA. I donít know if Iíd back on icceman to win me games, but hey, good week!

2. Colorado Avalanche (23-5-0, 5-2-0 in week 4) 1st in Western Conference, 1st in Overall Points

The Jawbawkaa and True Complexityís BonerJams had another solid week by going 5-2-0. Unfortunately, losses to Western Conference foes Los Angeles and Dallas were the only things to hinder the Avs in Week 4. Special teams wise, the Avs fell from 43.08% to 41.86% on the powerplay  and from 75.56% to 71.46% on the penalty kill.

Shot Differential: Compared to Week 3, the Avs fell hard in shot differential by posting a pedestrian +14 rating. In both losses, the Avs were outshot; Los Angeles gave Colorado a -9 while Dallas provided a -4. Outside of the two losses, the Avs found a way to win against the Penguins despite a -6 differential. I guess we can thank Anaheim (+11) and Tampa Bay (+10) for the positive differential.

Players of the Week: First overall selection I Beat Up Cakes continued his incredible season by potting 11 Goals and adding 9 Assists in Week 4. I wonder how successful he would be if he didnít lag out so much. From the back end, Jewbawkaa finally didnít suck as he added 1 Goal and 7 Assists. A product of the team in front of him, goaltender Zeno went a pedestrian 3-2-0 with a 73SV% and 3.53 GAA. I guess he really is a product of the Avs, not like Iíve seen him make plenty of big saves or anything.

3. Boston Bruins (19-9-0, 5-2-0 in Week 4) 1st in Eastern Conference, 2nd in Overall Points

Hey, one of the Eastern Conference teams stepped their shit up! Dennis and Stickís team finally broke the .500 curse by going 5-2-0 in Week 4. I think I speak for many here when I say about fucking time. Special teams wise, the Boston powerplay fell from 40% to 38.75% while the penalty kill rose from 77.36% to 81.69%.

Shot Differential: Oddly enough, the Bruins appear to have somewhat struggled in the shooting department as they posted a -1 differential on the Week. The big hit came against Anaheim (-6), while the rest of the week the Bís didnít outshoot or get outshot by more than 4.

Players of the Week: The guy who somehow slipped to the second round of the draft, Stew514 led the Boston offense in Week 4 by posted 4 Goals and 9 Assists. The back end seems to be on constant repeat, as Copy guy bri led the defense in scoring with 5 Assists while Random Meat posted a 4-0-0 record with a 77.8SV% and 2.50GAA.

4. New York Rangers (17-11-0, 5-2-0 in Week 4) 2nd in Eastern Conference, T-3rd in Overall Points

Hey look, another Eastern Conference team who stepped their shit up! Kastor and the Boys had an impressive week, going 5-2-0 and retaining their second seed in the Eastern Conference. Special teams wise, the Rangersí powerplay fell from 38.78% to 30.16% while the penalty kill rose from 81.82% to 82.93%.

Shot Differential: God damn the Rangers take a lot of shots. Not that we didnít already know that, but still. Anyway, the Rags posted an insane +47 shot differential in Week 4. They did plenty of damage early on, as they posted +16 against Dallas and +19 against Calgary on Monday and Tuesday, respectively.

Players of the Week: Apparently the Four Horsemen boys are still good, as GM N1ghtHorse potted 6 Goals and 11 Assists while lipari22 led all Rangers defenders in scoring with 4 Goals and 3 Assists. I wanted to give Kastor the nod in net here, but Rebel posted an impressive 2-0-0 record with an 85.7SV% and 1.45 GAA. Sorry Kastor, this guy just had really good numbers.

5. Toronto Maple Leafs (11-16-1, 4-3-0 in Week 4) 4th in Eastern Conference,  8th in Overall Points

Thereís really only one way to put this: The Leafs confuse me. One week they suck, the next theyíre slightly under .500 and the next theyíre above .500. I legitimately donít know if this team is for real or not, but they seem poised to make the playoffs in the Eastern Conference. Special teams wise, the Leafs powerplay rose from 16.22% to 18.18% and the penalty kill went up from 62.12% to 62.96%.

Shot Differential: The Leafs had a tough week in the shot differential department, as they posted a -6 rating on the week. At no time during the week did the Leafs get outshot or outshoot an appointment by more than four, though.

Players of the Week: Newly acquired QuasarF1ex paid instant dividends for the Leafs, as he posted 2 Goals and 6 Assists in Week 4. From the back end, owner Shady added 2 Assists while IYE413 went 1-1 with a 79.3SV% and 3.00 GAA. Not a bad week for the Leafs at all.

Shart Out time!

1. Commenters from last weekís article: Iím pretty sure thatís the most comments Iíve ever gotten on one piece. I have to say thank you to Zeno, Hab, Jarreaux, Nell, Nastiest Guy, Stick, Heavy, Copy, Rico, Jewbawkaa, Synergy, fluxay and Knivessplah for commenting and creating discussion about that big pile of doo doo.

2. Teams who forfeit and players who donít show up: I hate forfeits. Like a lot. They dilute the product of the league. If you arenít going to show up, get the fuck out of the league and allow players who signed up with aspirations of being active to play. Seriously, donít be a dick. Likewise, teams need to get rid of the inactive players so that they can actually play (the point of this league, right?).

3. Chatbox Fighters/Trolls: You guys make me laugh. I love a good troll now and then, but some of these are just so horrendously bad that I have to laugh at them. Whoever tried to troll Copyís mom is seriously a genius.

4. RejectedRapier: This guy asked me to make him better at the game. I give you a shart out because I tend to make people worse; itís called The Btosh Effect.

5. Blitzkrieg: Well, it looks like youíre finally done on the 360. Iíve had the pleasure of knowing and playing both with and against you since the SSHL days back in NHL 10. Youíre a good person who will be solely missed. Take care of yourself and stay in touch, sir.

Now, back to the dumb shit

6. Los Angeles Kings (13-14-1, 3-4-0 in Week 4) 4th in Western Conference, 6th in Overall Points

At the beginning of the year, I thought that Los Angeles would be a bottom feeder. Clearly, Jarreaux and company have proved me wrong as the Kings have improved every week and look poised to make the playoffs. Special teams were just ok this week, as the Kingsí powerplay fell from 32.39% to 30.12% while the penalty kill rose from 63.77% to 65.06%.

Shot Differential: While the Kings had a fair amount of success this week, they generally struggled in the shot differential department where they finished with a -5 rating. The biggest hit came against Dallas, where the Kings posted a -9 differential just one game after posting a +9 against Colorado.

Players of the Week: Apparently Iíve made RejectedRapier good? One week after giving him very basic tips, Rapier led the Kings offense with 10 Goals and 3 Assists. From the back end, Jordan x NC potted 1 Goal and 1 Assist while owner Jarreaux went 2-1 with a 70.5 SV% and 4.33 GAA between the pipes.

7. Dallas Stars (14-13-1, 2-5-0 in Week 4) 3rd in Western Conference, 5th in Overall Points

Man, what the hell has happened to Dallas? Habfan and the boys looked like they were falling off of a cliff until Thursday, where they pulled out wins against Western Conference foes Los Angeles and Colorado. Special teams fell for the Stars this week, as the powerplay is down to 39.71% from 41.82% while the penalty kill decreased from 68.52% to 64.62%.

Shot Differential: Week 4 was really a tale of two halves; the first half being Monday through Wednesday while the second was Thursday. The Stars had a very rough week differential wise, as they posted a -17. The biggest hit came on Monday night as the Rangers outshot the Stars by 16. Things did improve at the end of the week as the Stars outshot Boston (+3), Los Angeles (+9) and Colorado (+4).

Players of the Week: Owner Habfan5693 has always quietly had success and this week he took the charge offensively with 9 Goals and 4 Assists. On defense, scumbag Flow Pooch clearly thought he was the fourth forward in Week 4 as he potted 3 Goals and 4 Assists. Your job is to stop opposing teams from scoring, bud. In net, xRKC had an ok week as he posted a 1-2-0 record with a 78.7SV% and 3.33 GAA.

8. Tampa Bay Lightning (11-14-3, 3-4-0 in Week 4) 3rd in Eastern Conference, 7th in Overall Points
Oh Tampa. Tampa, Tampa, Tampa. Wanted Canuck and the boys  are seriously underachieving in my opinion, and have been for quite some time. Are they the third best team in the East? Yes. Are they a .500 team? Probably not. Honestly, this team is not bad but I donít think the pieces mesh well together.  This is what Iíve seen:
 
    i. Their breakout is poor; the forwards hang up high and the defense has trouble with the   big up up ups.
   ii. Because of the poor break out, the goalies get bombarded with shots, which is not good.
   iii. When the forwards do get the puck, they do not move the puck quickly. Instead, they try to do too much, which results in turnovers. Likewise, you guys are quite predictable with the puck, which makes it really easy to take the puck away.

Special teams slightly declined for Tampa, as their powerplay went from 25.93% to 21.88% and the penalty kill fell from 58.62% to 58.33%.

Shot Differential: Remember how I said the Boltsí breakout isnít very good? Yeah, that lack of puck possession, where they posted a -11 on the week. Granted, a big hit to this came against Colorado where the Bolts were outshot by 10.

Players of the Week: Despite the mediocre week, some players did step up for Tampa in Week 4. Assault Godz led the way offensively with 7 Goals and 3 Assists. From the back end, Mr. Obnoxious Gamertag xX13oskiXx added 1 Goal and 2 Assists. In net, SoccerJRC was the better netminder this week with a 2-1-0 record, 75.6SV% and 3.33 GAA.

9. Pittsburgh Penguins (9-17-2, 2-4-1 in Week 4) 5th in Eastern Conference, 9th in Overall Points

Snoopy and the boys were making some strides, but fell back a bit in Week 4 with a 2-4-1 record. Theyíre still in striking distance for the 3rd or 4th seed in the East, but they need to step their game up if they have playoff aspirations. Special teams improved for the Pens in Week 4, as the powerplay rose from 26.79% to 27.54% and the penalty kill went up from 59.57% to 63.93%.

Shot Differential: Pittsburgh shockingly did a strong job of controlling the puck in Week 4. I say shockingly because they only managed a 2-4-1 record. After posted a -8 differential against the Flames on Monday, the Pens outshot Los Angles (+2), Colorado (+6) and Boston (+2). Those are some good teams to be positive against.

Players of the Week: For what seems like every week, Number 9 has lead the Penguins offense. This time, he potted 6 Goals and 3 Assists. On defense, Shotgunsrugery added 4 Assists to lead all Pittsburgh defenders in points. In net, owner Snoopy posted a 1-1-1 record with a 76.7SV% and 2.31 GAA.

10. Calgary Flames (7-16-5, 1-6-0 in Week 4) 5th in Western Conference, 10th in Overall Points

Man, what the hell is wrong with Calgary? Jaxson and the League Officials canít still have a Stanley Cup hangover, can they? This team is good enough to make the playoffs; however, they need to step up NOW. If not, I would personally sell off some pieces and try to get newer players who wanted a chance in return. Special teams wise, the Flames actually improved everything; the powerplay went from 21.67% to 22.67% and the penalty kill rose from 65.31% to 67.19%.

Shot Differential: Like most teams in the GRHL, Calgary posted a negative shot differential in Week 4. With a -18, the Flames took a huge hit against New York, who gave them a gross -19. Like seriously, what the fuck.

Players of the Week: Good old Leto, getting shit done offensively. The former SSHL Capital posted 4 Goals and 5 Assists in Week 4, while Liqara added 1 Goal and 2 Assists from the back end. Rookie sensation jRz D3VIL seems to be falling off a bit, as he posted a 1-4 record with a 76.3SV% and 3.60 GAA. I think the fall in numbers is somewhat indicative of the product in front of him, though.

Transaction Review
Hereís a review of Week 4ís many truncations:

Releases

Tampa: xxTeachxx (Tough loss for Tampa. I guess he wasnít showing up?)

Dallas: Drippy Hardin (Canít comment on this seeing as I donít know the player)

Toronto: x Toews 19 x * (I thought this was a bad trade for Toronto last week and now heís gone)

Colorado: ImThunderr (It sucks to see this guy go, but we needed another goalie)

Pittsburgh: l Berra x 29 l *(Not showing up, yay!), pghreaper (Donít know who this is so yeah)

Claims

Tampa: The Rising Don (Hereís hoping that he can be active and help turn the Bolts around)

Colorado: KSI Loyal (We needed a goalie, bad)

Pittsburgh: l Fisher l 81 l (For Pittsburgh, I hope he shows up), XxMONTYXxPython (Flesh wound to Pittsburgh!)

Trades

Pittsburgh to Boston: Dirtracer91a, KnRsDad
Boston to Pittsburgh: fluxay, toplezz328

This one is interesting. I donít think Dirt was trying very hard in the Burgh so getting Jason and Toplezz back will be good for the Pens. KnRsDad is a good guy and solid player, who should help Boston.

Boston to Colorado: Stew514
Colorado to Boston: Tcx7

Itís very tough to move Rico; however, Stew would be one of maybe three pieces that I would want back. A good trade for us and Boston gets Rico-Dennis-Wally for one week .

Tampa to Anaheim: XxI3oSki17xX, AsSauLt GoDz
Anaheim to Tampa: BMexx, Reggie Hauser

I like this trade from the Anaheim perspective seeing as they bolstered their offense and defense. For Tampa, I like the addition of Reggie a lot; heís a smart center who should help them out.

Dallas to Rangers: Senators 424
Rangers to Dallas: Rebel l 15 l

Very interesting here. Rebel has played very well for the Rangers so Iím kind of surprised to see him get shipped out.

Toronto to Rangers: IYE413, miz3da5reaper0
Rangers to Toronto: PREDS H0CKEY

Ah, so thatís where the Rangers are getting a goalie. I think Rebel is the better option here, but hey, whatever. Miz is a good guy who should hit a lot of things on Broadway. Toronto gets a solid offensive piece in return.

Weekly Awards

To end this awful article, Iím going to present my picks for Players of the Week and Btoshís Bully of the Week. I am pleased to present my Player of the Week honors to:

1. I Beat Up Cakes (11 Goals and 9 Assists) Ė Colorado Avalanche Center
2. N1ghtHorse (6 Goals and 11 Assists) - New York Rangers Winger
3. HuRRt (7 Goals and 7 Assists) Ė Anaheim Ducks Winger
4. Lipari 22 (4 Goals and 3 Assists) Ė New York Rangers Defenseman
5. Flow Pooch (3 Goals and 4 Assists) Ė Dallas Stars Defenseman
6. RandomMeat (4-0, 77.8SV% and 2.50 GAA) Ė Boston Bruins Goaltender

The Btoshís Bully of the Week is awarded to the player who provides a physical presence in addition to a high level of play. The nominations for the first ever GRHL Btoshís Bully of the Week are:

1. Puest (5 Goals, 4 Assists and 46 Hits) Ė New York Rangers Winger
2. Let0traides (4 Goals, 5 Assists and 43 Hits) Ė Calgary Flames Winger
3. xDuchene 9 (8 Goals, 8 Assists and 34 Hits) Ė Colorado Avalance Winger
4. Prodigy x 8 (3 Goals, 2 Assists and 34 Hits) Ė Tampa Bay Lighting Winger

I am pleased to present Week 4's GRHL Btoshís Bully of the Week award to xDuchene 9.

Join me next week for another crappy article. Iím taking submissions for these, so if you have something to say or would like to give a player some props, please PM me. Seriously, PM me something you lazy sacks. Thanks for reading this article, which is clearly as grammatically correct as Copy guy bri.

9
League Media / Re: 50 Shades of o0 Black 0o. Week 4
« on: June 06, 2014, 05:30:24 PM »
Couple of things here:

Quote
Well finally Jew Bawkka is where he should be: leading the D with points.

No, he should be sitting on the bench :)

Quote
And hes leading with only 3 game played (well unless he enter the stats wrong, but that not his type)

He incorrectly enters the stats A LOT. That's why True ended up on the Suspension list for Week 3.

Thanks for giving me the recognition that I totally don't deserve again. My offensive production really came from our forwards burying their chances this week, so I have to thank them for my numbers.

As always, very good write up, sir. I think I speak for everyone when I say that I really appreciate the time and effort you put into this to provide content for the site.

10
League Media / Re: Week 3 in Review: An Abbreviated Btosh Joint
« on: June 03, 2014, 10:34:59 PM »

Facing less than 10 shots per game has to be the product of the team in front of you.

Still doesn't change the fact that he actually makes the saves whereas some other goalies wouldn't. What you don't see from shot totals is the quality of shots, which usually come right on his doorstep.

I get that you guys think Zeno is a product of us but he really isn't; he's proven himself here, VHL and LG. I don't really know what else I can say besides that.

11
League Media / Re: Week 3 in Review: An Abbreviated Btosh Joint
« on: June 03, 2014, 06:56:39 PM »

Call me naive all you want but I think 90% of the goalies in this league would have similar numbers or close to them playing in net for COL, Just like Soccer in Season 4 with the Bruins.

I highly, highly disagree with that. Some of these goalie would have better number than they currently do sure, but to suggest that we can make any goalie into an 80+SV% and 1.50 or lower GAA just isn't correct at all. Likewise, you're totally overlooking the fact that Zeno reads the play well and is almost always square to the shot, which you don't see a lot.

To add on to all of this, ask Zeno how many times Jewbawkaa, True and myself have blown his shutout bid with about a minute left by doing something stupid (like forgetting that we play defense).

well considering btosh is the top defensman tells you something. they are gonna win becausee they have a 5 man offense that just keeps coming and coming. there is no way zeno will keep those numbers up with brett playing 5th forward. we all know tosh.o should be playing bench but he insists on leading the rush and going space ghost on us all. one can only hope he runs into a wall on the way to signing his autographs

A couple things here. First, I'm a top defenseman? That's news to me. Second, please never call me Tosh.0, I seriously hate that guy. Third, I love the bench but Jewbawkaa won't let me on it because he's mean :(. Fourth, I'm all about the fans, brah.

12
League Media / Re: Week 3 in Review: An Abbreviated Btosh Joint
« on: June 03, 2014, 05:19:27 AM »
Quote
In net, Zeno was again strong. He posted a 5-0 record with an 81.2 SV% and 1.25 GAA.

I am posting career numbers here and all I get is this? Not even a mention in players of the week. lol

Seeing as you got POW honors last week, I didn't want to give it to you for back to back weeks.

And anyone who think Zeno's numbers are just a product of the team in front of him is quite naive; he's bailed us out much more than we give him credit for.

13
League Media / Week 3 in Review: An Abbreviated Btosh Joint
« on: June 02, 2014, 08:13:18 PM »
What you are about to read is solely MY opinion. This write up is meant to be both serious and comedic, so if you get offended by any of this, you need to re-evaluate your life. Also, you can contact Rendo for his "super special" ass numbing cream. The jokes in this article are as bad as Jewbawkaa entering stats.

Before we being, Iíd like to apologize in advance for this article being an abbreviated version of the Week 3 review. This past weekend, I had some friends from college come out and we got shitfaced before a Phillies game. We then went to the beach, where I got as red as a lobster. Needless to say, Iím exhausted and whining like SoccerJRC so I elected to keep this steaming hot carle short like Copy Guy Bri. If this article does not meet your standards, please PM Rendo and Heavymetalriff with your complaints.

Welcome to another week in scrubbery! Before we begin, I need to call out the Eastern Conference. Can you guys not be a bag of dicks and all hover around each other every week? Like seriously, one team go like 5-2 each week. Come on now boys. Anyway, letís start this piece of absolute garbage off with some crappy BonerJams team.

1.Colorado Avalanche (18-3-0, 7-0-0 in Week 3), 1st in Western Conference and 1st in total points

Iím going to keep this pretty brief seeing as itís my team. Jewbawkaa and True have built a very well rounded team who appears to be annoying the hell out of people. For those who doubted us, our Week 2 performance was because True went on vacation and left A Lonely Shepherd to carry myself and Jewbawkaa. Anyway, our powerplay rose from 37.21% to 43.08%. Likewise, the penalty kill rose from 71.88% to 75.56%. Those are obviously very good things and raising those numbers should manifest in more success.

Shot Differential: The Avs generally owned the possession and shooting battle all week; however, we did get outshot by Calgary during Wednesdayís 11 PM game. For the week, the Avs had a shot differential of +60, which was the highest in the league.

Players of the Week: It pains me to do this, but I have to give the skater nods to xDuchene 9 (8G, 7 A) and my scrub ass (2 G, 7 A); although, most of my points were secondary assists and the result of stupid things that should not have been possible. In net, Zeno was again strong. He posted a 5-0 record with an 81.2 SV% and 1.25 GAA.

2. Boston Bruins (14-7-0, 4-3-0 in Week 3), 2nd in Eastern Conference, 3rd in total points

Dudes, really? 4-3-0 this week? Is Old Man Nelson really dragging you down that badly? Despite a down-ish week, Dennis and Stick still have the Bís locked into the #1 spot in the Eastern Conference. This team is much better than their 4-3-0 record indicates, so expect them to bounce back in Week 4. In terms of special teams, the Boston powerplay fell slightly from 41.18% to 40% while the penalty kill took a slightly large hit by falling from 80.65% to 77.36%.

Shot Differential: It looks like the Bís struggles were evident in puck possession and shot differential, where they posted a pedestrian +2 for the week. Honestly, the -12 against LA is definitely unexpected by everyone in this league and something that I highly doubt will ever happen again.

Players of the Week: Two-way dynamo Wallywallabee led the Bruins in scoring this week with 2 Goals and 9 Assists while Old Man Nelson provided 2 Goals and 2 Assists from the back end. These players are definitely capable of much more, though (Wally more so than Copy). In net, RandomMeat had a solid week while posting a 3-1-0 record with an 87.2SV% and 1.25 GAA.

3. Los Angeles Kings (10-10-1, 5-2-0 in Week 3), 4th in Western Conference, 6th in total points

Where the hell did this team come from? Having previously struggled in weeks 1 and 2, the Kings really turned it on in Week 3 by going 5-2-0. Both the powerplay and penalty kill of the Kings rose slightly, with the powerplay going from 32% to 32.39% and the penalty kill going from 60% to 63.77% Hats off to Jarreaux and Company for a successful week.

Shot Differential: Despite posting a -11 shot differential to the Avs, the Kings finished in the top four teams in terms of shot differential with a +8 on the week. This new found puck possession definitely factored into their success, IMO.

Players of the Week: I definitely wanted to see someone step up for LA this week and it looks like QuasarF1ex69 is that guy, as he led the Kings in points thanks to 8 Goals and 3 Assists. From the back end, emraith again provided the defensive scoring with 4 Assists. Jarreaux had a solid week in net; however, I have to give props to TCOGAR93, who posted a 1-1 record (the one loss came to the Avs) with an 85.7SV%, 1.51 GAA and a shutout. I get it, he only played two games, but to have those numbers on a game where EA fucks goalies is pretty good.

4. New York Rangers (12-9-0, 4-3-0 in Week 3), 2nd in Eastern Conference, 4th in total points.

Another team who I think is capable of much more, Kastor and the Boys posted an average 4-3-0 record in Week 3. Like I said up top, someone needs to stand out in the East and I think Boston and the Rangers are the two teams who can and will do that. Special teams were rough for the Rangers this week,  as their powerplay fell from 41.67% to 38.78% and their penalty kill went from 83.78 down to 81.82%

Shot Differential: The Rangers had the highest differential in Week 2, but fell down slightly in Week 3 with a +28 on the week. Thatís still good for Top 2, mostly due to a +22 against Tampa.

Players of the Week: I look at this Rangers team and see solid two-way players who may, at times, struggle to score. Slugger921 shouldered the load offensively by potting 9 Goals and 3 Assists. Hopefully he can continue to be a consistent scorer for the Rangers moving forward. On the defensive side of things, Nastiest Guy added 7 helpers, which really shouldnít surprise anyone. In net, Rebel l 15 l seems to have taken on the starterís role. He went 2-1-0 on the week with a 78.9SV% and 2.67 GA

5. Pittsburgh Penguins (7-13-1, 4-3-0 in Week 3), T-4th in Eastern Conference, T-10th in total points.

Much like the Kings, Pittsburgh had a much better week than I think anyone was expecting. Snoopyís boys went 4-3 and are now tied with Toronto for the 4th seed in a very tight Eastern Conference. Despite the success, the Pensí powerplay fell from 27.50% to 26.79% and the penalty kill went from 61.76% to 59.57%.

Shot Differential: Iím kind of confused by the Pens success seeing as they finished the week with a -6 differential. Part of that comes from a -15 differential against the Avs, though.

Players of the Week: For the second week in a row, Number 9 has been the offensive catalyst for the Pens by posting 3 Goals and 6 Assists in three games. Play that kid more if possible, Snoopy. On defense, newcomer Foote Eh posted 3 Goals and 5 Assists. Heíll need to remain consistent all year if the Pens want to make the playoffs. In net, it looks like Pittsburg has a bit of a goalie carousel going. Teravainen x86 had a solid week though, going 2-0-0 with an 81.8SV% and 2.00 GAA.

Break time. Letís get to Week 3ís Shartouts:

1. Heavymetalriff and fluxay: I might be young, but Blades of Steel is fucking incredible. Thank you for bringing back some great memories with your videos.

2. Stick: Not only did this guy hand me a big contract in LG, he then proceeded to trade my scrub ass! This guy gets a shartout for realizing how much he overpaid for me in bidding. No hard feelings bud (Iím being serious here), you guys have a solid team and should do well this year.

3. A Lonely Shepherd: Not only did he carry my nubbyness all week, but he also posted an 86.7 SV% in his one game of net this week. Iíve said this before, but the kid gets overlooked like crazy.

4. o0 Black 0o: I have to give you props for writing every week. This stuff takes a long time and the fact that you crank one out every week is truly awesome. You also show the defenders in this league, which is very cool. My only complaint is that you should never give me an award seeing as I am a scrub.

Ok, back to more scrubbery.

6. Anaheim Ducks (11-9-1, 3-4-0 in Week 3), 3rd in Western Conference, 5th in total points

God the Ducks confuse me. Theyíre a talented team who keeps hovering around the .500 mark. I look at the team that Knivesplash and Unwritten have and see a team that should be second in the West, but they just arenít. Special teams have been ok for the Quakers, as they raised their powerplay from 32% to 35.59% despite slightly lowering their penalty kill from 63.83% to 63.08%. A huge difference, I know.

Shot Differential: I think part of the Ducksí problem lies in puck possession and shot differential where they posted a -18 on the week. Big hits came against Eastern Conference foes New York (-11) and Boston (-7), which both resulted in a loss.

Players of the Week: New guy Synergy l 98 l had a solid week as he posted 7 Goals and 5 Assists. From the back end, Unwritten G added 3 Assists. Goaltending was definitely a problem for the Ducks. Of Tyrant and Icceman, Tyrant had the better numbers with a 2-2 record, 65.6SV% and 7.00 GAA. Tough week for Steve, but I think he can bounce back.

7. Dallas Stars (12-8-1, 2-5-0 in Week 3), 2nd in Western Conference, 3rd in total points

Even with a down week, Habfanís boys are still firmly in the 2nd spot of the Western Conference. I didnít take a deep look into their scheduling, but Iíd have to think that teams are starting to throw top lines out against Dallas. Special teams were actually better for the Stars this week as they raised their powerplayer from 37.21% to 41.82% and their penalty kill from 68.42% to 68.52%.

Shot Differential: A down week appears to have been at least somewhat caused by shot differential, where the Stars posted a -12. The biggest hit was a -19 against Calgary, which is just wow. Iím honestly shocked that the Stars pulled their SOD to -12 after that Calgary game.

Players of the Week: It looks like Dallas is getting scoring from different people on offense as Bobamatic led the way with 2 Goals and 9 Assists. From the back end, Bevstrong added 4 Assists. xRKC overtook Hell Diablo this week by posting a 1-3 record with a 76.45 SV% and 3.26 GAA.T hose arenít the numbers that Dallas is used to getting from the net, so that will have to improve going forward.

8. Calgary Flames (6-10-5, 2-4-1 in Week 3), 4th in Western Conference, 8th in total points

Jaxson and his infinite world of league staff are really struggling here and it is honestly a bit surprising. Maybe Jaxson has a bit of a Cup hangover, so to speak? I still think Calgary can make the playoffs but theyíll need to step their shit up now to fend off a suddenly surging Los Angeles team. Special teams were not so special this week, as Calgaryís powerplay fell from 23.26% to 21.67% and the penalty kill was down from 69.23% to 65.31%

Shot Differential: Remember how I said shot differential wasnít everything? Hereís a perfect example of outshooting your opponents and not coming out on top. Excluding the forfeit against Pittsburgh, the Flames outshot and lost to Los Angeles in overtime and Colorado in regulation. They also outshot Dallas by 19, as previously mentioned. On the Week, Calgary finished with a +16 rating yet still finished under .500. I have to think that pucks will eventually start to find the net for this team.

Players of the Week: Good old Let0 still dominates and led the Flames this week with 7 Goals and 4 Assists. I think heís capable of more, and Iím sure Jaxson and company hope that he can continue to produce like this. From the back end, skullduggery posted 4 Assists to lead all Calgary defensemen in scoring. Earth to jimfromfiles, you are good and need to step up bud; youíre capable of adding at least a point per game. In net, jRz D3VIL was just ok by his incredible standards as he posted a 2-2-1 record with a 65.5SV% and 3.99 GAA. Iím not sure if he just had an off week or if teams are figuring him out, but Calgary needs him to play at an elite level on a nightly basis for them to succeed.

9. Tampa Bay Lightning (8-10-3, 1-4-2 in Week 3), 3rd in Eastern Conference, 7th in total points

Seriously Tampa, what in the fuck happened to you guys? I get that Soccer is bad and all, but 1-4-2? Really? As one would expect with a record like this, the Boltsí special teams took a hard hit as the powerplay fell from 27.05% to 25.93% and the penalty kill went from 65.12% down to 58.62%. Yuck.

Shot Differential: No team was more outshot than the Bolts this week, who posted a -44 rating. Half of that is due to a big -22 that the New York Rangers dumped on them. Colorado also gave them a -16. Iím not going to rip on Tampa too much here; just forget that this week happened and bounce back.

Players of the Week: On offense, itís ya boi Moida F Baby leading the charge offensively to the tune of 4 Goals and 5 Assists. Iím glad to see him step up but I think that he has more ginos and apples in that wand. From the back end, perennial Luke Schenn Award favorite added 1 Goal and 5 Assists. Iím sure he was out of position for all of them. In net, the one and only SoccerJRC somehow got this team two points with a 0-1-2 re3cord, 76.25 SV% and 452 GAA. Believe me, Iíd much rather give an award to Eye Talk Do do, but his numbers were much worse. If Tampa is going to get continually outshot, theyíll need their goaltenders to play unreal every night.

10. Toronto Maple Leafs (7-13-1, 3-4-0 in Week 3), T-4th in Eastern Conference, T-10th in total points

Iím sure youíre wondering why I picked this team for the last spot. To be perfectly honest, I think that Tampa is better than the Leafs despite a 1-4-2 record in Week 3. Toronto has been really tough to gauge all year; they tend to hover around .500 and I canít seem to get a full read on them. Theyíre still in contention for the 4th seed in a tight Eastern Conference and two good weeks could propel them to number three. The Toronto special teams have been just ok all year, the powerplay went from 12% to 16.22% in Week 3 while the penalty kill fell from 65.12% to 62.12%.

Shot Differential: A tough week for the Leafs ended in a -34 shot differential, which big hits coming on Thursday from Los Angeles and Colorado, who both gave the Leafs a -12. Finishing out the week like that is not a good thing going forward.

Players of the Week: All DAII had himself a solid week with 3 Goals and 5 Assists. These arenít bad numbers, but youíd hope that your leading scorer for the week could at least reach double digits. From the back end, owner Shady added 3 Goals and 2 Assists while goaltender IYE413 had a 3-2 record with a 67.7 SV% and 3.94 GAA. Not bad numbers, but not great either.

Transaction Review
Here are Week 3ís Roster transactions:

Releases
Calgary: Rabidwolverine(Guy is a solid player, but I guess it wasnít working? Not sure about this move)

Colorado: Haidy x 7 * (Haidy wasnít showing up so I canít complain)

Pittsburgh: Devil Boie (This guy quit out of a game against Colorado so I canít say that Iím surprised. Pittsburgh needs to rid themselves of quitters if they want to make the playoffs)

Claims

Colorado: Tcx7 (Hi Rico. I hope your back is fully healed from the last time that you carried me :) )

Boston: toplezz328 (Another solid forward for Boston. Donít you guys already have enough of those?)

Calgary: Slammerama (Holy shit Slam is back! How did I not notice his sign up? Anyway, great pick Calgary)

Pittsburgh: l Berra x 29 l (According to his sign up, he plays on a Top club. Not to diss the guy, but most top 6v6 clubs donít play anywhere. If he is as good as his post indicates then the Pens just got themselves another good goalie)

Trades

Toronto to Los Angeles: Jordan xNC, drop1n dumpl1ns

Los Angeles to Toronto: Quasarf1ex69, Emraith, x Toews 19 x

I like the fact that LA moved Toews, but this trade doesnít really make sense to me. Quasar and Emraith solid weeks and then get moved to Toronto? Maybe Jarreaux knows something that I donít, but I wasnít very impressed with Jordan or dumplins when I saw them.

Buyouts

Boston: XxMontyxxpython (Clearly tis more than just a flesh wound)

Weekly Awards
To end this awful article, Iím going to present my picks for Players of the Week and Btoshís Bully of the Week. I am pleased to present my Player of the Week honors to:

1. xDuchene 9 (8 Goals, 7 assists)- Colorado Avalanche Winger
2. Slugger921 (9 Goals and 3 Assists) - New York Rangers Center
3. QuasarF1ex69 (8 Goals and 3 Assists) Ė Los Angeles Kings Winger
4. Nastiest Guy (7 Assists) Ė New York Rangers Defenseman
5. Foote Eh (3 Goals and 5 Assists) Ė Pittsburgh Penguins Defenseman
6. RandomMeat (3-1, 87.2SV% and 1.25 GAA) Ė Boston Bruins Goaltender

The Btoshís Bully of the Week is awarded to the player who provides a physical presence in addition to a high level of play. The nominations for the first ever GRHL Btoshís Bully of the Week are:

1. Xx SpLiFF (4 Goals, 2 Assists and 47 Hits) Ė Anaheim Ducks Winger
2. Let0traides (7 Goals, 4 Assists and 43 Hits) Ė Calgary Flames Winger
3. Skullduggery (4 Assists and 41 Hits) Ė Calgary Flames Defenseman
4. Puest (3 Goals, 7 Assists and 34 Hits) Ė New York Rangers Winger

I am pleased to present Week 3's GRHL Btoshís Bully of the Week award to Let0traides.

Join me next week for another crappy article. Iím taking submissions for these, so if you have something to say or would like to give a player some props, please PM me. Seriously, PM me something you lazy sacks. Thanks for reading this article, which is clearly better than anything Soccer has ever written.
 

14
League Media / Re: 50 Shades of o0 Black 0o. Week 3
« on: May 31, 2014, 07:24:39 AM »
Pretty sure True played four this week; jewbaka just sucks at entering stats.

Getting back to this though, thank you for the kind words but a lot of my success comes from my teammates playing well and building a sizable lead, which then allows me to be a bit more offensive minded. Winning this award has made my life complete; let's just hope that I don't pull a copy this week and suck major ass :).

15
One comment here:

"When you look at Dallas you donít see all star one man shows like Stew or Cakes"

We aren't a one man show and neither is Boston.


I meant player's who can play like one man shows. I should have rephrased it. Cakes sorta showed that this week while the rest of you guys took a crap.

I would still disagree with that, but we're both entitled to our opinions :).

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